Before, Now, and Forever
by Lada Hitam
Summary: The 3 moments of Harry Potter's life. Betaed
1. The Past

Title: Before, Now, and Forever

Rating: R  
Summary: The three moments in Harry Potter's life.  
Note: Weird. Beta-ed, thanks to Helgaleena. All the remaining mistakes are mine.  
Disclaimer: Not Mine

**Before, Now, and Forever**

..

**The Past**

As Voldemort rapidly turned into ashes in the soon-to-be-empty place between you and him, his figure was getting clearer before you. There on the bloody battlefield you two stood rigidly, near yet apart.

For a minute or maybe more, because time felt like it was standing still for you and him, your eyes locked together, exactly as his eyes and Dumbledore's had done before. But if a million things could have been said between him and Dumbledore in those seconds, all you could do was conjure an image that's been blooming beautifully, dangerously in the darker recesses of your mind since you'd seen the truth in Dumbledore's last pensieve thought.

You didn't know if he saw the image or not, because his expression gave away nothing while his eyes were unreadable, and more so his mind. You were silently, desperately begging him for any reaction, and right before he disappeared before your very eyes, you caught his last glance, heard the final incantation coming in his velvet voice.

"_Finite Incantatum_, Harry Potter."

And whatever spell that had been binding you two together for those seven hateful years was now broken.

Then all hell broke loose around you as they realized Voldemort's demise, but you knew nothing about that since you were falling into an endless darkness, with the sound of his painful parting words and the harsh crack of his apparition (or maybe, you thought distantly, that harsh crack actually was the sound of your heart and your soul shattering into a million broken pieces) overlapping each other, ringing deafeningly in your ears.


	2. The Present

**The Present**

You wake up on an unfamiliar white room with your friends around you. It's been seven days since you went into coma, and your friends are rejoicing over your coming back to life. Almost a dozen mediwizards have their ways with you, to check every inch of your body for any leftover curse or injury. They prod you here and there, asking you this and that, but since you don't feel anything at all, not even your own body, you say nothing. You see their joy turns to worry, see as the relieved, smiling mediwizards turn frantic and pale as you slowly drift away into nothingness.

As the days grow, as your body undergoes more lengthy examinations, as you keep your silence, you feel more and more detached from your current living state. You've lost half of your soul and the emptiness, the hollowness where your heart usually beats bleeds dry whatever will you have left to keep you alive, to continue your life. 

As _he_ had said before, it's finished. You. Are. Finished.

But you do have friends, friends that have been accompanying you to hell and back, friends who care that after all your efforts and sacrifices, you'll make it alive and well. And so they try to wake you up from your catatonic state.

In the future, you'll be grateful that Hermione is such an ingenious witch, because if she's not, you'd still be floating in your thousand years sleep like Sleeping Beauty did in her thorny castle before the Prince came to kiss her awake.

The Legilimens spell tries to pierce your mind, and that feeble attempt of intrusion, which is so far beneath _his_ skill, stirs your mind from the deep slumber. Automatically your defence is up; the thick, impenetrable walls are erected, and you lash back angrily at the intruder. Who dares to try using Legilimency on you?

The void that seemed bottomless inside you is suddenly filled with familiar emotions, the ones that you used to feel when dealing with _him_. Rage and hatred so intense that they well up from the void, and you let them burst free.

You wake up.

Eyes snapped open, you see a white room, with havoc wreaked upon its occupants. The magic hums powerfully around you, sending delicious tingles along your body, and you can feel the air charged by the magic's residue. All is silent, time and movement seem to freeze before you hear your name being called. Hermione is the first one who cries out your name in such relief and joy, and getting up to her feet, she almost runs to your side. After that, chaos ensues and everything happens so fast that it becomes one big blur to you.

But this time you keep yourself awake, and somehow, you find that your brain's mechanical function still works properly and propels you to speak, even though the rage and hatred that has sustained you a moment before are long gone now, while the emptiness remains.

A broken, lifeless puppet is what you are now. Will you find the miracle to turn you back into a real human being like Pinocchio had done for himself?


	3. The Future

**The Future**

Eight months after you'd killed Voldemort, seven months and three weeks after you'd shut yourself down, you'll be released from of St. Mungo's Hospital. It'll be the beginning of spring, and although the Burrow will be beautiful with fresh green grass and blooming wild flowers, and the house will be warm with freedom and laughter, you'll choose to stay at the gloomy and lonely Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. There will be many protests and much fussing from the Weasleys, and from Hermione, but since Lupin will be staying in Grimmauld Place, in the end, they'll let you be.

For days you'll sit on the library, sorting through the newspapers, reports from the members of Order of the Phoenix, official letters from the Ministry, and letters from people you don't know. The invitation to the Ministry party where you'll be awarded Order of Merlin, First Class, offers of apprenticeship that surely will make Hermione squealing with joy and enthusiasm, a special offer from the Auror Division to join their ranks, which you'd have accepted if it had come two years ago, stories and praises of your heroic battle with the Dark Lord and his followers, love declarations and marriage offers of all sorts, and then you'll stumble upon one report.

There, on the quite long list of most wanted Death Eaters, you'll find _his_ name, along with a tidbit of information that no trace of him can be found, even after eight months of serious investigation. And that will be the moment when you know for sure what you shall do with your so-called life.

The same place where you'd said goodbye to your childhood, where assignments, exams, Quidditch, and silly little crushes were important things to you, and where you started your journey with your two best friends, but now you'll say goodbye to everything you've known, everything that you thought was important and precious to you and start your journey alone. If _he_ could leave you of all people in this world, then you, too, could, and will, leave everything you have behind.

For years you'll travel the world, learn what you can learn, do what you can do, and a legend will be born. The invincible and immortal Harry Potter, more powerful than Voldemort or Dumbledore -- no dark beast cannot be slain by Harry Potter; no dark wizard cannot be defeated by Harry Potter. And no woman or man can conquer Harry Potter's heart. 

Hermione and Ron will marry and have children, Ginny will be engaged, your classmates will be the new Professors of Hogwarts, Ministers of Magic will come and go, but still you'll roam the entire world, searching for _him_.

Then one day, you'll arrive on a tropical island, an island so beautiful that people call it the emerald of the Equator, and you'll know, although you won't know how or why, that your long journey has come to an end.

There in the depth of the lush rain forest, where giant, thousand years old trees as green as your eyes grow magnificently, you will find him. And as if he's been waiting for you all this time, he'll open the door even before you knock on it.

"My Brave Knight," he'll welcome you with an achingly familiar sneer, mockingly, voice purring like that of a majestic lion.

And you, the moss moist under your feet, the humid air caressing your skin, and all the green – the colour of your eyes, you dazedly realize - around trapping you in its endless spiral of colour, you can do nothing, will do nothing but kneel and bow before him as you should have done a lifetime ago on that last battlefield, and give him your overdue respect:

"My Prince."

Behold then: The Half-Blood Prince, Harry Potter's personal Horcrux, the missing half of your soul!

FIN

.

.  
_Thousands of days I've been waiting for you  
Millions of songs were created for you  
Will you still be like this?  
Is there any space left in your heart?  
That I can still come to  
Try whenever you want to  
Do you know the song you love?  
Do you know the star you talk to?  
Do you know the home you come to?  
That's me  
Trust me, that's me  
Try to go out in the stormy night  
Sing the song you love  
So you'll feel the coolness  
Try to go out in the bright day  
Remember the star that you talk to  
So you'll feel the warmth_

Sheila on 7 – That's Me

Well, I finally finished this fic that has been bugging me for quite a long time. The scene that inspired me to write this is where Harry broke up with Ginny in HBP. Harry left Ginny for a greater good, to destroy Voldemort, but I want to write where Harry left everything for Severus. Then I read Greg Herren's Bourbon Street Blues, and the scenes where the hero's pet name from his older brother is My Queen just stuck to my brain.

So I tried to corporate the idea before and this pet name into a drabble, but it refused to become a drabble only. It mutated into a three-parts drabble, since I was attacked by another idea where Harry roamed the world, undefeated, because half of his soul was in Severus, his personal Horcrux.

The place where Harry found Snape is an island in my own country. The island is called Kalimantan (Borneo) and years ago it was indeed full of lush rain forest. Why I chose this island not because it's my own country or what, but because like I'd said in the fic, another name for it is the Emerald of the Equator. I imagined that when Snape'd found the island and its name, he couldn't help but think about Harry, so he'd stayed there in the green rain forest, surrounded by the colour of Harry's eyes . So sappy, isn't it? 

The song above came from a famous band in my country called Sheila on 7, when I heard it, I thought, "Why, that sounded just like Severus felt all alone in the forest." Though the million songs should be replaced by million potions .

I welcome all comment and critics :).


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